Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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