I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
MIDGETS
????
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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