Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
