i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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