Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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