There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
