he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize