You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
