i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
