mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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