Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
