we made out on top of his cat.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This is my gift to your gina
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
