I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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