i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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