just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
where am i from again
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
