Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize