Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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