yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize