I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
