I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
