she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
