Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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