But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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