i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you told grandpa to call you daddy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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