You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
