I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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