How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
