So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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