Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
