Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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