Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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