of course. lets lasso hookers.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
