It's like God shit irony all over that family
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
