I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
