New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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