Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
