I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
