how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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