I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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