does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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