oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
