You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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