OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
