party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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