smell my finger.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
