my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize