The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
