Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
