I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm at about main and main street
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
