if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
