My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
