Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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