My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
