oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize