physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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