I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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