so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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