..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
