You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
