My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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