The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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