He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
