Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
should my penis look like a turkey
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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