The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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