I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
