That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
