You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
