oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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