Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
