somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
