Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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