For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
