chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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