brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
