I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
