Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
