this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
