that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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