She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
