he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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