I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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