he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
