Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
