Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
