Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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